Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
