South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
