R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
