Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
