at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We were destined to go to rehab together
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
