how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
