dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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