I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
