i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
