afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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