You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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