I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
