Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
