3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She is in my trunk
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
