THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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