I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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