sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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