she was so not down for the gang bang
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
