don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
