Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Is it because I queefed?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
