you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Sorry about my life...
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