lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
