I got chris browned last night
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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