I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
