The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
