Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everclear isn't food dammit
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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