ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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