respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
