The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
