i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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