can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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