I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
