Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
