Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
birth control should be required to get into college
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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