his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
