windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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