Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
