we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize