a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
