Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
