THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
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Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
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You pole danced in your parka.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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