After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
