Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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