omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
