Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
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I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
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The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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