And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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