is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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