chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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