I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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