Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize