When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
