This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Acid is not a monday night drug
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
