they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
