Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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