Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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