I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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