My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
