She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
