would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
