I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
that's an acceptable place to lick
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
