You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Come see our sink grown plant.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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