I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
