are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
