ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
4 words: hood of his car
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
