the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
