My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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