rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
